He wants to come home. He wants to come back to his wife. With utter clarity, a heavy heart and teary eyes, I have had to say no. Enough. We make so many decisions in life about every aspect of what we do, how we spend it, who we share our moments with. Decisions are not right or wrong they are just 'a' decision by which we have to stand by and work through and take responsibility for as we make them. He made a decision and now I have made a decision.
At this stage, I know that it would not be right for me to 'go back' regardless of what I have lost. I am mending my heart so it can be shared with another, someone who can love me the way I want to be loved, a search that I seem to have been on for as long as I have been able to love.
I am slowly learning that however hurt I have been, within marriage I learnt the gift of taking care of another and being taken care of. I will remain utterly grateful about that and someone else will surely benefit from that as much as I have. The question is, will I love that way again? Will my heart mend? Will I be that vulnerable again with another? I think so......
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Life moves on and so do we, what we want changes....what we need changes and sometimes that means leaving others behind. Whatever happens, if you make decisions based on someone else's happiness it will never work. Ali xx
ReplyDeleteRe-igniting a relationship that has already been ended is like warming up cold coffee: crap!!
ReplyDeleteBelieve me, I've been there, I've done it and it's a waste of bloody time.
Life moves on.
Dani XXX